suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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