i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
