didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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