I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
