he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
