I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
