He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
