i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
did i just pee glitter
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
