I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you will always have a special place in my vag
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
