Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
