It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
