That's intense
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
