i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
