call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
