Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
foreskin is a definite game changer
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
