my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
