He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
