Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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