Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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