Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
