i already hear my dad disowning me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
