fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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