I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
