In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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