Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
