can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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