Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
