no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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