i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
