Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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