i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
