i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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