I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We need to rekindle our bromance
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
