so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
