Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
