nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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