I wish my penis had an off switch
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
