There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
