Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
