I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
