Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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