brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
