dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
