Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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