Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
