you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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