Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
