I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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