i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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