Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
