how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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