Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
