i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
