Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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