I'm so fucking centered right now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
