i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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